Riddle School/transcript

This is a transcript of the 2006 video game Riddle School.

Transcript
JonBro Presents

Phil Eggtree: *grooooan...* I've been sitting here for two hours straight listening to addition facts. All because I teased somebody, I'm in a special class. I don't even have a smart teacher. Right now I'm as free as a bird in a bird cage. ''Alright, that's it. I'm getting out of this school.''

Mister Kahm: ''What's 131+42 again? I forget.''

Phil Eggtree: *groooooooan*.

[Phil Eggtree smashes his head into his desk]

Riddle S-c-h-o-o-l

Special Class For The Insane


 * -|South=Phil Eggtree: The teacher may not be smart, but he knows when I open that door.
 * -|Outlet=Phil Eggtree: No outlet here!
 * -|Left window=Phil Eggtree: During school, even the windows look dreary.
 * -|Right window=Phil Eggtree: That window's no different from its twin.
 * -|Wall crack=Phil Eggtree: You can tell this school's low-budget just by looking at that.
 * -|Mister Kahm=Phil Eggtree: That's the teacher, Mister Kahm. He asks me lots of question because he doesn't know any of the answers.
 * -|Pencil sharperner=Phil Eggtree: That's it! Hey, teacher! Could I sharpen my pencil?

Mister Kahm: Only one person at a time!

Hallway 1

Phil Eggtree: ''Now that was sharp! (I can't believe I said that.)''


 * -|West (no key)=Phil Eggtree: The school doors are shut during school hours. I bet the principal has the keys. I was there yesterday, and then I got sent to that class... ...only last time, I was with a teacher. It'll be harder this time. I don't even have a hall pass. There's a hall guard right before you reach the hall's end. Well, it's all down the hall and past the teachers' lounge. If I can make it there, I'm as good as free!
 * -|West (key)=[an image of Phil Eggtree outside the school is shown, then, credits roll]

Now Go Read A Good Book.
 * -|North=Phil Eggtree: NO WAY.
 * -|5 election poster=Phil Eggtree: "5 for prez." 5 is a popular guy in this school. It's because of his 'VOTE 5' shirt.
 * -|Bell=Phil Eggtree: To whom the doesn't toll... ...it rings when school ends. ...which it doesn't. Ever. Need I say more?
 * -|EXIT sign=Phil Eggtree: It's the EXIT sign. It represents sweet freedom!

Hallway 2


 * -|Water fountain (off)=[the water fountain turns on]
 * -|Water fountain (on)=[the water fountain turns off]
 * -|Far west locker=[the locker opens, revealing a "Hall Pass+", which can be obtained]
 * -|Clock=Phil Eggtree: It's a clock. It's also a reminder that I waste all my time at school. That explains why I never pay attention to clocks anymore.

Ms. Cophey's classroom


 * -|Phred Whistler=Phil Eggtree: That's Phred, my best friend and the most bored class member.
 * -|Zack Kelvin=Phil Eggtree: That's Zack, who is always very cold. He has no problem freezing the water fountain.
 * -|Smily Sundae=Phil Eggtree: That's Smiley. She's the only one in this school who likes learning. Smiley's also the one I made fun of to be in that special class.
 * -|Ms. Cophey=Phil Eggtree: That's my teacher, Miss Cophey, who drinks more coffee than anyone else I know. She finishes teaching lessons two hours early in a hard-to-understand jittery voice.
 * -|Drawing=Phil Eggtree: That's a drawing by somebody named JonBro.
 * -|Window=Phil Eggtree: Looking out there reminds me I'm trapped here.
 * -|Trashcan=Phil Eggtree: Wow, feather duster in a dustbin. Ironic.

 [ Feather duster is obtained]

Hallway 3


 * -|Green puddle=Phil Eggtree: You don't want to know what happened there.

Janitor's Closet

808: WHAT are you doing? GET OUT OF MY CLOSET.


 * -|Give feather duster=808: You found my feather duster! Keep the change.

[a dollar is obtained]

808: I've been looking all over school for this. The playground birds need dusting. ''Well, I gave you a dollar. Don't waste it on socks.''
 * -|Bucket=Phil Eggtree: Uh, Bucket, you spilled something.
 * -|Mop=Phil Eggtree: That's a mop. It works like a towel.
 * -|Broom=Phil Eggtree: I ate one of those for lunch yesterday.
 * -|808=Phil Eggtree: That's the janitor. He's 5's dad, 808.

Men's bathroom


 * -|Sinks=Phil Eggtree: As crazy as it sounds, those are sinks. Just look at the sleek design! I would have thought twice about escaping school if it all was that cool-looking.
 * -|Water=Phil Eggtree: A big, fat battery clogged the left stall's pipes and choked up all that water.
 * -|Dirty stall=Phil Eggtree: That's the only stall guys ever use, mainly for graffiti.
 * -|Clean stall=Phil Eggtree: That's the untouched stall which is in perfect condition and currently on display.

Hallway 5

Richy: ''Hey, it's me, Richy, the hall guard. Got a hall pass?''  ' cause if you don't, you can't pass.


 * -|Give Hall Pass+=Phil Eggtree: Yes, I do, so please get out of my way.
 * -|North=Phil Eggtree: Listen, if I went in there, you'd hear screaming and shrieks, not only from anyone in there, but from me.

Hallway 6


 * -|Poster=Phil Eggtree: That's a poster I made at home because of the bizarre number of lockers in this school. "This school has 7 students and more than 50 lockers! NO SANITY!" No wonder this school's so low-budget. It was expected to be popular.

Hallway 7

Chubb Munch: Oooooh...gimme a cookie.


 * -|Give dollar=Phil Eggtree: Take the dollar, fatty.

[Chubb jumps onto the floor to grab the money]
 * -|Chubb=Phil Eggtree: That's Chubb. There's not a person I know who's as fat and hungry as he is. Yesterday I heard something about him swallowing his refrigerator.
 * -|North (with Chubb)=Phil Eggtree: The principal's office is past the Teacher's Lounge, but I can't get in. Chubb's in the way.
 * -|Fire extinguisher=Phil Eggtree: I think I'm safe. The last fire we ever had was when Mrs. Cophey's coffee spontaneously combusted.

Teacher's Lounge

Teacher: What are you DOING here?!


 * -|I need to talk to the principal.=Teacher: And why is THAT?

[goes back to original dialouge box]
 * -|I want to tell him a joke.=Teacher: Oh, jokes are always fun! Go right on in.

[Phil Eggtree enters the principal, Mr. Cwesschyn's, office and manages to steal the door keys]'

Teacher: How nice off you to drop by. Bye, then!
 * -|My teacher sent me up.=Teacher: YOU DON'T WANT YOUR TEACHER ON THE PHONE, DO YOU? GET OUT!
 * -|Wrong room.=[Phil Eggtree returns back to hallway 7]

Hallway 8


 * -|East=Phil Eggtree: Getting out of school through that door's out of the question.

Cafeteria


 * -|Greg=Phil Eggtree: That's Greg, the least hungry and most restful student in the school.
 * -|Cafeteria blueprints=Phil Eggtree: That's a diagram of the cafeteria, reminding us all what it looked like clean.
 * -|Cookie vending-machine=Phil Eggtree: The cookie-vending machine is unfortunately broken.
 * -|Blue liquid=Phil Eggtree: Someone managed to spill their blueberry Wet-Ade up there.
 * -|Green gunk=Phil Eggtree: That's green, unrecognizable gunk.
 * -|Mustard face=Phil Eggtree: That's the school-famous Smiley Smudge. That's how I made fun of Smiley--with mustard.